I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
