In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
