Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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