I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
