I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
