weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
