I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You can't motorboat a personality
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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