Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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