life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
