don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
