He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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