OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Someone signed my nipple.
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