it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
