she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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