question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
