Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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