I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
