Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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