Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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