she was so not down for the gang bang
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
