can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
