Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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