Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
