the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
