I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
