chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Why is your signature on my underwear?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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