Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
