Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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