No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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