I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
