On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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