His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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