dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
