he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
