this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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