Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
