No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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