After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
