The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
