about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
