help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
