Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
