I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
