shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
