i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
