When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
