I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
True strength comes from lack of pants
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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