the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
