So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
