I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
