"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
