i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
